


The Most Magical Place On Earth(?)

by emeraldcitydowntowngirl



Series: Eccentric Times At Barrington High [4]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Halsey (Musician), Panic! at the Disco, Paramore
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Disney World & Disneyland, M/M, Menstruation mention, Mentions Of Puke, Multi, Ridiculousness, like... things just come up okay, this sounds really gross but its not isjfdk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-23 06:10:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9643868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emeraldcitydowntowngirl/pseuds/emeraldcitydowntowngirl
Summary: After the Barrington High marching band gets invited to perform during a parade/competition at Disney World, things get a little... hectic. To word it nicely.(OR: Nobody understands the concept of time, freshmen Hayley and Taylor lose their flutes at the last minute and risk having to face the wrath of an angry Patrick Stump, Joe and Vicky attempt (and succeed?) to end their weed addiction, Ryan sorta wins a 5 night stay at the Cinderella castle, Pete's just trying to stay in the loop with the kids, and Ashley tags along just... cause)





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CreativelyInsane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreativelyInsane/gifts).



> i hope you enjoy this! and thank you so much for the request + for all of ur suggestions like them losing their instruments and ryan getting dragged around with brendon trying to meet the princesses lol! i think i,,, went in a little over my head with but still, i hope i did the request justice!

( _Camera (barely) pans a crowded coach bus- kids fill the entire bus, and they’re talking loudly, but the camera focuses on Patrick- he has his phone pressed to his ear, and his finger in the other, trying to hear better. He shoves at Brendon’s shoulder, and motions to the screaming kids, but Brendon ignores him and goes back to reading the Mylo Xyloto comic books with Ryan, Jon, who's coming along as their photographer, is sleeping (in the midst of the madness), Joe and Vicky are making out, and Travie’s outside smoking. Pete’s outside with him, and so Patrick has no choice but to scream to be heard_ )

“NO, THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE ~~FUCK~~ I’M TELLING YOU,” Patrick screams, and most, if not all of the kids stop talking to listen to him, “THE BUS IS LEAVING WITH OR WITHOUT YOU. THAT’S IT. GET HERE _NOW_. WE’RE GONNA MISS OUR FLIGHT AND FOR WHAT?”

There’s a moment of silence, and Patrick literally _roars_ with rage, “ARE YOU ~~FUCKING~~ KIDDING ME?! ARE YOU ~~FUCK~~ —ARE YOU ~~FUCKING~~ WITH ME RIGHT NOW? YOU COULDN’T WAIT TILL WE WERE IN THE AIRPORT TO DO THAT? OR JUST WAIT IN THE FIRST PLACE?” Another silence, and then, “LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY. I. DO. NOT. CARE. ABOUT. WHETHER. OR. NOT. YOU. THINK. SHOWER. SEX. IS. MORE. FUN. THAN. AIRPORT. SEX. I. CARE. ABOUT. NOT. MISSING. OUR. ~~FUCKING~~. FLIGHT. SO. GET. HERE. NOW. _GOODBYE_.”

He takes a deep, heaving breath after he violently hangs up the phone, and he turns to look at the kids. The teenagers stare at him with wide eyes, and Patrick says in a low, low voice, “I’m not in the mood, I am _not_ in the mood for any shenanigans right now. I’m gonna take attendance, and then we’re _leaving_.”

One of the freshmen, Hayley, raises her hand and says in a small, timid voice, “Um… Mr. Stump, are we _really_ going to leave without Mr. Saporta?”

Travie and Pete come back in the bus, and they look momentarily shocked at the stillness, but Brendon leans forward and he whispers “He just went full on Dennis-from-It’s-Always-Sunny-when-he’s-angry on Gabe on the phone. I thought one of his veins was gonna pop out, bro. It was kinda hot.”

Patrick turns around, and he points a finger at Brendon. “Shut. Up.”, and then he turns back to Hayley, and he gives her what he hopes is a relatively normal and not ‘I’m-two-seconds-away-from-gouging-my-eyes-out’ smile. “Mr. Saporta? I don’t know him.”

\---

HAYLEY: I’m really excited to go to Disney World! I just… I mean, Mr. Stump can be intimidating when he’s mad, but it’s gonna be so much fun! We’re the only freshmen he let come on the trip. I don’t think anyone here really likes me and Taylor ( _camera pans to Taylor, the guy sitting next to Hayley, who looks a little freaked out, still, about Patrick screaming_ ) cause we’re, like, 14, but… we have each other! Right, Taylor? ( _Taylor: Y-y-yeah_ )

PETE: Trick’s just super nervous, ya know? I mean, we’re flying _kids_ to another state. Halfway across the country. And two of our chaperones probably aren’t going to get here on time. Cause they were too busy ~~_fucking_~~.

PATRICK: I knew—listen, I ~~fucking~~ _knew_ that Bill and Gabe weren’t going to be good chaperones. I mean, I love Bill, he’s the best, but he doesn’t even go to the school anymore! Gabe just wanted to bring him along so that he would have someone to—ugh! And you know, knowing Ashley Frangipane, she’s probably going to make some grand entrance too. I need some Advil.

ASHLEY: ( _already at the airport- she’s wearing some Mickey Mouse ears, and she’s the only one waiting for the flight, that’s leaving in 4 hours_ ) Wait, Patrick said that? Wow, he knows me sooooooooooo well! Yeah, uh, Bill told me that he was going to Disney World, and, like, hello, I love Disney World, how can you tell me you’re going without inviting me? So, naturally, I bought myself a ticket too. Except I’m not babysitting some bitch baby losers, Class of 2016 for life, I’m gonna have _fun_... I’ve always wanted to bang a Disney Princess. I’m partial to Jasmine, but I can settle for Belle considering I played her last year in the musical and it's, like, selfcest. I’d _definitely_ ~~fuck~~ myself.

\--

( _TIME SKIP- Everyone’s waiting to board the plane- everyone except William and Gabe. It’s loud, but Travie settles everyone down right before they’re going to board so that Patrick and Brendon can count heads and make sure he’s not leaving anyone in the bathrooms. Pete’s sitting in one of the chairs, drugged out of his mind on Xanax_.)

“12, 13, 14, Ashley _please_ get out of the way, your hair is distracting me and I keep trying to count you, _15_ , 16,” Patrick counts off, going down in rows from where everyone is sitting, and Brendon ticks off people’s names off a roster as Patrick goes down the row. It’s late, and everyone’s getting pretty tired of just waiting, so it’s not as hellish as it really sounds. Hayley and Taylor share a copy of Goblet of Fire from the Harry Potter series, and the camera gets footage of them fighting a little bit, _“You read too fast! Flip back the page! Oh my God, Cedric, no!”,_ until, because of Ashley’s shrill scream, the camera quickly pans to Gabe and William sprinting towards everyone, with take-on luggage in hand.

“BILL!” Ashley shrieks, and when William and Gabe come to screeching halt, Ashley hugs Bill super tight, “I thought you weren’t going to show!”

“Yeah,” Patrick begins to say, with his arms crossed and with gritted teeth. Bill’s still with Ashley, so Gabe has nowhere to turn but to Patrick. “I thought you weren’t going to show.”

“I can explain--” Gabe begins to say, but Patrick holds a hand up, stopping him. “Just. Shut up and be on time next time, okay? I’m not in the mood to argue right now, mostly because I have to haul around Pete.”

The camera pans to Pete, who’s clinging onto Ryan, who’s watching Coldplay Live. “Damn,” Pete says, sounding absolutely amazed, with his eyes trained on the shattered phone screen, “you’re right- Chris Martin is Jesus. He sweats a lot though...”

“Of course I’m right.” Ryan replies back, rolling his eyes like he can’t believe that Pete would suggest that he’s never _not_ right. “Also, you’re drooling on me.”

\---

PETE: I hate flying. So… ( _shakes a bottle of Xanax super close to the camera_ ) Woo!

PATRICK: Oh, it’s bad. It’s _bad_. Like… shaking me and telling me that we’re going to die and that the plane is going to plummet into the ocean and our bodies are never gonna get… okay, let me stop talking about this, actually...

\---

The camera then pans to William and Ashley, who are standing around.

“Wait, I don’t get it.” William says, for about the millionth time. “You booked a flight, and a room, and you got park tickets… because you want to bang a Disney Princess. That’s it?!”

“I’m a _celebrity_ , Bill,” Ashley says, flipping her blue hair over her shoulders, “I have money, pre-order Badlands on iTunes. And besides, it’s gonna be fun! Plus, I don’t like being in the apartment alone. I always think the mice are gonna eat my wigs.” She shudders a little at the thought, and then she continues, “Plus… you only live once, so go ~~fucking~~ nuts. The wise words of Suicide Silence, R.I.P Mitch Lucker.”

“I still can’t believe you had an emo phase.” Bill says, with a laugh in his voice, “Like… I _can’t_ believe that... then again you did kidnap me to go to Times Square and you blasted ‘Bring Me To Life’ the entire time...”

“Evanescence ~~fucking~~ saved me. Amy Lee… is my mom."

The cameras then pan over to Patrick talking to Hayley and Taylor.

“Okay, I’m gonna assign you guys your own chaperone. Not because I don’t trust everyone else but…” He trails off, and he briefly scans his row of chaperones. Joe, Gabe, and Vicky are totally, completely out of the question, and with Gabe goes William, so he’s out of options there. Jon’s practically babysitting the chaperones, and then there’s Travie, but Travie’s going with the seniors because the seniors are problematic in their own way, and then there’s Brendon and Ryan left which… no. _No_. Patrick hardly trusts Brendon and Ryan separately, but as a unit?

So, Pete, who’s drooling all over Ryan’s shirt, is his best option. He grimaces a little, and turns back to Hayley and Taylor, who seem to have somewhat of a similar thought process. “But I just… I mean, you guys are the only lower classmen, and I don’t want you guys to get lost, and-”

“Mr. Stump, we’re 14, we’re not… babies…” Hayley says, but Patrick waves her off, “I know, I know… but still, you guys are the best flute players I’ve had since… okay, forever, and… I don’t want your parents to never send you guys to marching band practice again. So… I’m gonna leave you guys with, er, Mr. Wentz.” He says, wincing as Hayley and Taylor glance over to Pete.

“With… Mr. Wentz?” Taylor asks, and Patrick nods slowly… “Um… yeah. He’s not normally like this, he’s just really scared of flights. Uh… Pete!” Patrick calls out, and Pete breaks out of his small trace. He wipes his mouth on Ryan’s sleeve (Ryan’s too invested to Coldplay to _really_ care, and he turns around. “Yeah, babe?” Pete slurs, and Patrick’s face flushes red.

\---

TAYLOR: Wait… Mr. Stump and Mr. Wentz? Oh wow… I did _not_ know that. That does explain a lot, though.

\---

“Can you… you know what, stay there. You’re gonna be chaperoning Hayley and Taylor.” Patrick tells him, even though he’s beginning to regret it, because Pete’s already falling asleep again. “Mmmmm… Okay…” Pete says, and then he falls back into place leaning on Ryan. Brendon, who’s on the other side of Ryan, eyes Ryan and Pete and he says under his breath, “You look desperate, bitch. You’re lucky you’re high on Xanax, or else you really would be catching these hands.”

Patrick turns back to Hayley and Taylor. “I… er, promise you you’re gonna be in good hands. I wouldn’t be, like, marrying the guy if I didn’t trust him. But… I mean, you guys are good, right? I trust you guys enough, just… y’know, let Pete at least know where you’re going, and-”

He gets interrupted by the doors opening, and the announcements that the plane is now boarding. Everyone immediately jumps up, and rushes to get into line, even though no one is going anywhere without Patrick, who has all of their tickets. And as Patrick watches the kids go crazy with excitement, as Ashley jumps on Bill’s back and brings him down to the ground with her weight, as Pete slumps over into an old lady’s lap, and as all of his chaperones are either a) high of their minds or b) untrustworthy as fuck, judging from the look on his face, he’s starting to regret the trip.

\---

PATRICK: I just really hope I don’t get children killed? If these kids make it back in 6 days _alive_ , I’ll consider it a good trip.

\---

( _TIME LAPSE- Everyone’s off the plane, and are about to board the Disney buses to the hotels. It’s late at night, and everyone’s tired and grumpy and they just want to go to their rooms and sleep. Patrick and Vicky are counting heads again, and Brendon and Ryan are just coming back from getting their luggage_ )

“You’re so annoying,” Brendon says to Ryan, glaring at him through glasses he hardly wears. “I don’t get it… like, why couldn’t you have ordered the thing where they pick up our luggage _for_ us and have it ready in our room _for_ us? Now my back hurts and the last thing I want to do is ~~fuck~~. And what’s the point of vacation if we don’t ~~fuck~~?! Do you _know_ what I risked getting that lube through-”

“Brendon,” Ryan says, tiredly, “shut up. You’re ruining the surprise.”

“The surprise?! What’s the surprise?! I have a backache and I want to throw myself off the top of the Cinderella castle?! I already knew that!” Brendon yells at him, before he throws his luggage down in the middle of walking. He lies on top of the suitcases, and he spreads his body out, starfish style and he yells at loud intervals, “MY LIFE SUCKS. I WANT TO DIE. I HATE FLORIDA. IT’S TOO DAMN HUMID. I’M BREATHING IN SWEAT AND DEAD SKIN PARTICLES. I-”

Ryan stops walking, and he stands over Brendon with crossed arms. “Babe, _get up_. I promise you, you’re gonna _love_ the surprise.”

Brendon sits up on the luggage and he crosses his arms too, a mimic of Ryan’s posture. “What? Is it about Chris Martin? Because-”

“No, but it wouldn’t be a bad surprise if it were! Just… come on, a couple more feet, I promise.” He says, and with a frown, Brendon gets back up, and he leans down to pick the luggage off the floor with a grumble.

They get to where everyone else is- everyone either has their headphones on, or are making small-talk like “Wow… it sure is hot… in Florida… where it’s generally hot…”, so the cameramen keep focusing on Ryan and Brendon. A whole ton of buses and a small limo arrive at the scene, so everyone puts their bookbags on, ready to get on them.

“I love the smell of coach buses. Smells like… fun. Like, if fun were a smell, y’know?” Joe says to Patrick, in the background. 

“So,” Ryan says, his voice lilting, “the hotels kinda suck, don’t they?”

“I don’t know, _Ryan_ ,” Brendon says, through gritted teeth, “Seeing as we’re still here on the line. My back huuuuurts!”

“But I’m just saying… like, wouldn’t it be nicer to stay at the… Cinderella Castle, let's say?” Ryan asks, a small smile growing on his face. Brendon opens his mouth to say something mean, but then there’s _something_ in Ryan’s face that makes him stop. “...I…guess… that would be cool…” Brendon says, with furrowed eyebrows. He looks around for cameras, like he’s on Punk’d, but the only cameras are Tyler and Josh’s.

“So… why don’t we just go there instead?” Ryan asks, just as someone who looks official comes up to where everyone is waiting, and he holds up signs that say Ryan and Brendon’s names. Brendon gives Ryan another blank look and he says, tentatively “Are you playing with me? Because I will legitimately kill you. I will break up with you, and ~~cut your dick off~~ , and-”

“Are you ~~fucking~~ kidding me.” Vicky says in the background, “Like, are you-- did they-- Joe, please punch me in the face so that I don’t have to watch these two leave to stay at the ~~fucking~~ _castle_.”

Ryan pulls two tickets out of his pocket, and he shows them to Brendon, who quickly pulls them out of his hands to scan them. “Yeah, when I booked our room, there was this sweepstakes I got automatically entered in, and I won? I guess? So… that’s why we had to bring our luggage, and-”

“Ryan,” Brendon says, and he immediately pulls Ryan close to kiss him passionately. “I can’t… I can’t believe this! Oh my God! Oh my God, Oh my God, what the ~~fuck~~ , Ryan!” He pulls away to shake Ryan’s shoulders, “Oh my God! ~~My pussy is _soooooo_ wet right now!~~”, and then he goes back to making out with Ryan.

The cameras quickly pan to everyone else- Patrick immediately winces, and Hayley looks into the cameras with a shocked look on her face.

\---

HAYLEY: I can slowly see why Mr. Stump thought that Mr. Wentz would be a better chaperone.

PATRICK: The thing is that like… Brendon doesn’t- Brendon doesn’t have a vagina? That’s just his way of saying that he’s excited? In front of the kids? I’m going to have a heart attack on this trip. 

VICKY: I’m not jealous! I’m not jealous! I’m-- I keep trying to tell myself this so that I don’t stab myself in the throat-- I’m not jealous! I’m not jealous!

\---

About 10 minutes later, after Joe has to hold Vicky back from scratching Brendon’s eyes out, after Ryan and Brendon stop making out long enough to get into the small limo to go to the Castle, rolling their baggage behind them, and after Patrick and Travie have counted heads for the 20th time, everyone waiting on the line to get on the buses looks at each other with tired expressions.

The cameras do a sort of transition- the screen goes black, and when it comes back, everyone’s already at the hotels, standing outside as Patrick and Pete hand out room-keys. Everyone has on the same tired expressions that they had at the airport.

Pete stands behind Patrick, and he makes funny faces that make the kids have to hold on their laughter as Patrick hands out their keys, “If I find out that you guys leave your rooms after you aren’t allowed to, I’m going to… call your parents! Okay?! I’m going to call your parents, and then… I’m not going to let you go on Space Mountain! Yeah! That’s the punishment. I’m trusting you guys okay, and-”

He jabs his elbow in Pete’s gut when he realizes why the kids look like they’re about to burst into laughter, and Pete groans in pain, “I wasn’t making any faces!” “Yes, you were! I’m going to--” He pauses, because he’s not sure if he should really say ‘ _I’m going to punish you_ ’ in front of the kids and not expect some sort of comment. But still, one of the seniors snickers, “Are you gonna call Mr. Wentz’s parents too, Mr. Stump? Oh wait, you’re already his Mom.”

Patrick jabs his finger in his direction, “Stop! I told you guys I wasn’t in the mood!”, and then he goes back in lecturing mode, “As I was saying, I trust you guys. And I trust that you’re not going to get me, or Mr. Wentz, or any of your… lovely chaperones in trouble, and I trust that you guys aren’t going to leave to do anything stupid, okay? We’re here for 5 days, so please, let’s make it a pleasant trip? Okay?”

He finishes handing out of the last of the keys, and he takes a deep breath. “Alright. Set your alarms for 7, and be in the cafeteria by 8. We’re going to get on the bus to Magic Kingdom at 9, and then we have practice 1:30. Capiche?”

Everyone grumbles out their responses, and Patrick claps his hands, “Okay… yay! Alright… go. Now.” and then everyone scurries off to their rooms before Patrick begins another lecture. After everyone has gone off, Patrick immediately slumps his shoulders, and leans into Pete’s touch when Pete holds his arms open. “ _Pete_. Oh my _God_ , I’m so exhausted. I _hate_ having to be strict teacher.”

Pete looks into the camera with raised eyebrows- Patrick definitely doesn’t hate being the strict teacher- and he hugs Patrick back. “I know, babe. But hey, we’re finally alone.” He suddenly smirks at Patrick, and he begins to kiss along Patrick’s neck, as he reaches behind his body to put the key into the lock, “And I know the _perfect_ way to get you to relax.”

“Yeah, me too.” Patrick says, with a grin on his face, as Pete begins to kiss lower, “A nice _long_ bubble bath and a back massage.”

“Oh… yeah, er, that’s definitely what I had in mind…”

Now- you’d think after the long day that all of the kids had, and with the long lecture that Patrick gave, they would have stayed in their rooms. But the cameras run, and they show a time lapse of the kids, all of the seniors and juniors, and Hayley and Taylor, and even William and Ashley, slowly sneaking out of their rooms and going to sit on the lawns and getting chips from the vending machines.

\---

( _Everyone gets interviewed in different places as they make their way down to the cafeteria- The question is ‘what are you most excited for today?’)_

GABE: ( _shirtless, and with a toothbrush and a whole lot of toothpaste foam in his mouth_ ) I’m just excited to be with my little Guermillo, man. I don’t care about Disney World and this trip as much as I care about just being with him, ya know? ...Okay, actually, that's too cheesey. I also care about ~~getting my dick _suuuuuuucked!_~~

WILLIAM: ( _steps out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around his body_ ) Baby, can you-- ( _spots the cameras_ ) AAAAHHH!

ASHLEY: ( _in her room, fixing a red beret over her blue hair- she talks into the camera through her mirror)_ _I’m_ pumped because I’m going to Epcot to bang a Disney Princess. And I know what you’re thinking- one, yes, this red lip is ~~fuckin~~ ’ bitchin’, I agree, and two, everyone else is going to Magic Kingdom, so why are you going to Epcot? And _I_ say- ( _William comes into the room, dressed, and he says, “Dude, you gotta come with us to Magic Kingdom, I don’t wanna watch little kids”_ ) Oh my God, dude, I thought you’d never ask, I don’t want to go alone. ( _looks back into the camera_ ) I like being independent but also… I’m a codependent hoe. And I’m ashamed. But-

PETE: ( _walking out of his room_ ) Splash Mountain. Splash mountain, splash mountain, splash mountain, splash mountain!

JOE: ( _feeding ducks by the lake in the hotel resort_ ) Well, first Vicky and I are gonna try to find a weedman. And then we’re gonna hit the 4D shows. _(shifts his gaze_ ) This duck is ~~fucking~~ cute! You get an _extra_ piece, little buddy!

VICKY: _(tearing off bread to give to Joe_ ) The little dolls from the Small World ride freak me the ~~fuck~~ out. So I’ll tell you what we’re not doing- _that_.

TRAVIE: ( _guarding his other bagel- Vicky already stole his first one)_  I actually agree with that one. I don’t ~~fuck~~ with ‘It’s A Small World’. I think I’m excited to go on the Winnie the Pooh ride, it’s kinda creepy, but a _good_ kind of creepy, not a Small World kind of creepy. Also, I’m a sucker for the Peter Pan ride, Pete and I already made plans to go together. He’s _really_ into Peter Pan.

PETE: ( _showing his second star to the right tattoo_ ) Yeah, I would kinda die for Peter Pan… oh God, I love Peter Pan, I can’t even put it into words. Well, I can, but it would take up 10 minutes of your time...

PATRICK: ( _already in the cafeteria, stirring coffee_ ) You mean _after_ we win the competition? Because I’m excited about _winning_ and practicing. But… hmm… I think Tower of Terror, in a couple of days, is gonna be a lot of fun. But also just walking around Epcot and just getting food everywhere. I love food.

\---

( _Everyone’s in the cafeteria- Vicky and Joe are picking at some fruit salad, Ashley and Bill and Gabe and Travie are out in the gift shop, someone’s downing some Benadryl after accidentally eating some peanut butter, Pete’s telling Dad jokes to Hayley and Taylor and they’re definitely not enjoying it_ )

“Okay, okay, I have a good one,” Pete says, as Hayley and Taylor glance at each other, before they turn back to him with semi-hopeful expressions. He’s trying to conceal his laughter, but he’s all grins as he says, “So… so what do you call a fake spaghetti?”

He doesn’t even give them a second to think about it, before he screams, through a loud laugh, “AN IMPASTA! Get it?! Cause… y’know-"

“We get it, Mr. Wentz…” Taylor says, before Hayley kicks him under the table, forcing him to fake a chuckle, just like what Hayley’s doing. “That was… er, really funny.”

“Wait, I think I have another one, just…” Pete begins to say, before Patrick, who’s next to him, pats him gently on the back. “Pete, I don’t think they really wanna hear another joke.”

“But… they’re funny!”

The cameras pan to Vicky and Joe, who are eating from the same container. “So… it can’t be that hard, finding a weedman, right? I’m sure people get high at Disney World.” Vicky wonders out loud, and Joe shrugs in response. “I have no idea… I mean, I don’t even know how… like, how we should _go_ about it? God, I feel like an amateur.”

“Yeah…” Vicky sighs sadly. “I mean, don’t people check bags, they’ll definitely smell it…”

“Maybe we should… like, try this thing sober?” Joe suggests, slowly, and Vicky’s eyes widen. “Really? _You’re_ saying that?”

“Yes,” Joe says, rolling his eyes a little, “I’m totally capable of getting through the next 5 days without it. Plus…” He trails off, and Vicky’s eyebrows furrow. “Plus?”

“It’s stupid. I don’t wanna, like, bring it up and it be this thing _looming_ over us.” Joe sighs, and he stabs his fork into an apple slice, before he brings it to his mouth, and he says, his mouth full, “But… y’know, the whole baby thing. I mean, we might as well-”

“Quit? Cold turkey, just like that?” Vicky asks, and she brushes her bangs out of her eyes. “Wow. I- wow.”

“I don’t know. We’re stopping now, right? I don’t wanna be drugged up and dependent on ~~fucking~~ weed if you ever get pregnant, or we have another scare, I don’t know, is this stupid?” Joe asks, and Vicky shakes her head quickly. “No, I… I like it! We’re gonna do this!”

“Yeah! Okay, we’re gonna do this!” Joe exclaims, “Go us! Hopefully we don't have bad withdrawal symptoms!”

They both high-five, and grin at each other, before they dig back into their fruit salad.

\---

JOE: I’ve been smoking since I was, like… 16. And I’m gonna be 30 next year. So… I’ve been smoking this ~~shit~~ for almost half of my life. And I know it’s a problem, but it’s… dude, weed is ~~fucking~~ awesome. Like, _awesome_. I bake it into, like, everything! But if I’m gonna be a… _Dad_ , y’know… Like "here, son, have some ~~fuckin~~ '... ~~fuckin~~ ' weed baby food!' 

PATRICK: Wait, Joe and Vicky said _what_? _Joe and Vicky_? Like… _my_ Joe and _my_ Vicky? Joe Trohman and Victoria Asher?

\---

( _Camera shows shots of Magic Kingdom- of Splash Mountain, of Main Street, U.S.A, of the Small World ride, of Tomorrowland, and finally, the Cinderella Castle. Then, it switches, so that the camera is filming the front of the door to Brendon and Ryan’s room at the top of the castle._ )

The door suddenly swings open, and Brendon says in a cheery and over-dramatic voice, “Hey MTV, I’m Brendon Boyd Urie-Gyllenhaal and welcome to my crib!”

He lets the camera into the room, and he flops down on one of the huge, King sized beds, where Ryan is sitting. He’s on his laptop, typing at a hundred miles a second, and he says, without looking into the camera, “Someone just tried to shit on Coldplay’s Superbowl performance from last year, I couldn’t _not_ retaliate.”

\---

RYAN: No, I do like the room! Really! I’m just… not a Disney person. So, I don’t really care. Like, if Chris Martin stayed in this room-- hey, remember when I met God himself?-- then it’d be a different story.

BRENDON: OHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD THE ROOM IS AMAZING! Even though Kevin Jonas, AKA the worst Jonas brother of them all, Nick forever, you have to like him because he has diabetes, stayed in this room and that thought alone gives me the heebie jeebies.

RYAN: Actually, I kinda liked Kevin. So...

BRENDON: Okay, but Ryan was also high off his ass on cocaine during JB-mania, so… his opinions _obviously_ aren’t valid.

\---

“Ugh, it’s so hot when you get defensive over Coldplay.” Brendon says, before he looks up back to the cameras. “Well… come! I’ll show ya around!”

The entire room is mesmerizingly beautiful- everything is bathed in gold, and the windows are stained glass. Brendon skips out of bed, he’s already set for the day, while Ryan’s in his pajamas, and he walks into the bathroom. He points to the tub/jacuzzi, that’s surrounded by paintings, and he grins, as he says to himself. “My ass still aches from the passionate sex we had in there…”

The camera’s reflections are in the mirror, and Josh’s horrified facial expression gets caught, before Brendon leads him out of the bathroom, and into the sitting area.

He points to the couch, and he says, “During Patrick’s rehearsal, we’re gonna come back and do it on here too.”

Ryan appears at the doorway, and he groans, “Bren, do you _have_ to divulge all of the details of our sex life to the world?”

Brendon blinks at him. “Yes. Hence the documentary?! And-- oh ~~shit~~! Get dressed, we’re supposed to meet everyone on Main Street in… 5 minutes ago!”

He opens one of the windows, and he yells out to the entire park, “PATRICK, WE’LL BE DOWN THERE IN 15 MINUTES!”

\---

( _Camera A shifts to Camera B- Patrick, the chaperones, and all of the kids are standing along Main Street, U.S.A. Oh, and Ashley, who’s taking selfies on her polaroid camera_.)

“Okay, screw this, I’m not waiting for Brendon and Ryan anymore, if you guys had them as your chaperones, just stick with me.” Patrick says, after about 5 minutes of just straight up waiting. “So.... you guys have 4 hours, okay? And then we’re meeting here at 1:30, and we’re walking to the practice area together, we’re gonna practice, we’re gonna go back to the hotel, and then we’re coming back at 5:30. So, don’t stress yourselves out trying to get on all of the rides, or anything. Okay? Are we all clear? 1:30 PM?” Patrick asks, and everyone nods, impatiently- even the chaperones. Joe, in the back, whispers “Dude, I think I just saw Brendon’s head sticking out of the window in the Castle. I’m not lying.”, and Travie whispers back, “Yeah, are you _sure_ you didn’t take anything?” “Swear! I definitely saw him, I can spot that forehead from anywhere!”

Patrick clears his throat, glaring at the two of them a little, and the camera barely gets Joe’s glare back, before Patrick continues, “And please, please, _please_ stay with your chaperones. Or, at least let them know where you’re going? I don’t want any of you guys to get mugged? Okay… I think that’s all… so, be free. If I catch you guys without your chaperones, I _will_ call your parents!”

And with that, everyone meets up with their chaperones, and Pete&Hayley&Taylor join up with Patrick and his group, who look the most miserable. Because everyone knows that no one is going to stay with their chaperones. In the corner of the frame, Joe and Vicky have already strayed from their group to buy some popcorn.

“Oh, come on guys,” Pete says, catching the looks on everyone’s faces, “You guys are with the _coolest_ chaperones! Come on, let’s go to Splash Mountain! If you guys are well behaved, I’ll even buy you guys some stupid overpriced popcorn.”

Patrick’s eyes widen, and he quickly adds, “Yeah, we’re not doing that.”

“Well, you can’t tell them _that_ now that I’ve already suggested it!”

\---

HAYLEY: I wish we were in Ashley and William and Mr. Saporta’s group… mostly because I’m kinda in love with Ashley… she’s just so pretty, you know? … Also, wait, can you guys confirm… like, is it true that Mr. Saporta and William were dating since last year?

WILLIAM: ....Yeah, it’s really weird making out with Gabe with all of these seniors and juniors with us… it’s just _wrong_. And that’s coming from me. A person _in_ the relationship.

TRAVIE: I told Gabe not to bring William on the trip. But no one really ever listens to me so… _(continues to lick his Mickey ice cream_ ) Whatever. This ~~shit~~ is good as ~~fuck~~.

\---

( _A whole bunch of footage is shown- Ashley getting spotted by a fan, and Ashley legitimately crying over it, Pete and Patrick on the line for Splash Mountain, Vicky and Joe on the Small World ride, looking completely freaked out as a bunch of small dolls sing to them, William and Gabe sitting across from each other on the monorail, and they’re glaring at the cameras since they clearly wanted alone time, Hayley and Taylor listening to more of Pete’s shitty jokes, Brendon and Ryan taking pictures with Cinderella, the sound is cut off but Brendon’s saying ‘Look at me,_ **_I’m_ ** _the princess now’, and Ryan’s giving Cinderella a sympathetic look as she stammers back a response, and finally, Brendon and Ryan sneaking back into the castle as Patrick rounds everyone back up to go to rehearsals._

_The camera cuts, so that everyone’s putting away their instruments, after rehearsal, and they get ready to go back to their rooms for a break before they go back to the park. Brendon and Ryan are very much in the room, after Patrick stalked after them, and Joe and Vicky are very much going through withdrawal symptoms- Joe’s pacing back and forth around the room)_

“Don’t forget to put your instruments away in their proper places, okay? Because if I find out that any of our instruments are missing, I’m going to… to be very angry!” Patrick states, as he sets down his conducting wand. “But I’m really proud of you guys- we sound great, and I _know_ we’re going to make the Top 10!”

He adds this as an afterthought- “But even if we don't, I’m really proud of the progress that we made, even the fact that we made it to this competition! But… let's kick some ass, okay?!”

Everyone cheers back- but that's mostly because they get to leave and take power naps before they get back on the buses to go back to Magic Kingdom. Everyone scurries to put away their instruments, Hayley and Taylor included, and everyone crams themselves out of the door.

Patrick twirls around on his heel, and he sighs. “I can't believe I’m saying this… but Joe and Vicky, _please_ find a weedman. You guys can’t go on like this.”

Joe, who’s been pacing, gasps at him, and points an accusatory finger in his direction. “No! We’re-- we’re quitting! We’re fine. ~~Fuck~~ you!”

“Yeah!” Vicky says loudly, but that's all she adds- she mostly just looks tired out from that one word. Patrick presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, and he says, “Just… go back and take a nap, guys. Pete, let’s go, I wanna have sex before I lose my ~~fucking~~ mind.”

The camera pans to Pete, who looks pleasantly surprised. He quickly jumps off the piano he's been sitting on, and he obediently follows Patrick out of the room. He smirks at the cameras as he walks past them, and then the cameras fall on Brendon and Ryan, who are sitting around with Joe and Vicky.

“So… you guys wanna hang in the Castle? Ryan’s all Coldplay Live’d out.” Brendon says, and Ryan, who’s next to him, nods. “Yeah… I kinda just wanna get wasted and yell at people from the window in the room. I mean, if you guys _wanna_ listen-”

“We’re not ~~fucking~~ listening to Coldplay.” Vicky snaps, as she gets up, “But yeah, yelling out the castle sounds fun. Come on, Joe, let’s get a beer.”

And then there were none.

\---

( _It’s late at night, and William and Ashley are walking around the park. The firework show is about to begin, so they’re looking for good seating, and they happen to be near to Hayley and Taylor. The footage isn’t that good, considering the only lighting is coming from the streetlights_ )

“Ooh! Ashley! William! Come sit with us!” Hayley calls out to them, waving like crazy. And since they are pretty close, and since Hayley is super loud, they both glance at each other and sigh, before they sit down next to Hayley and Taylor.

“Are you guys enjoying the trip?” Hayley asks, beaming, and then she adds, quickly, “By the way, I preordered Badlands on iTunes!”

\---

ASHLEY: Preorder Badlands on iTunes!

\---

“Oh, awesome! And yeah, the trip is pretty cool. I didn’t ~~fuck~~ a Disney Princess yet, though.” Ashley frets with a pout on her face, and William winces a little, “Ash…”

Hayley, however, leans in a little closer, and her eyes widen as she excitedly whispers, “Wait, you’re gay?! Me too!”

“Ashley’s bi… _apparently_.” William says, with a sort of eyeroll, and Ashley rolls her eyes at William’s reaction. “William’s just being a little pissbaby because he only found out when he found me ~~eating out~~ my hair stylist on our couch. Like…dude, I ~~fucking~~ put on a sock on the door. And I had already put on my blog that I identified as bisexual, he should have read it, you know?! That’s what friends do, read each other's blogs! You’d read my blog, right?!”

Hayley violently nods her head.

William throws his hands up and shrieks, “You can’t put the sock on the FRONT door! ~~Eat people out~~ in your own room, that's why you have one!”

Hayley and Taylor watch on helplessly as the two continue to bicker. “And… and you could have just told me! I don’t read your blog everyday, _sorry_!”

“I know! But I didn’t want you to judge me, for not realizing sooner!” “I would never judge you! You’re my best friend!”

Ashley gasps, and immediately hugs William close to her, smashing her cheek with his. “Bill! I love you!”

...And she turns back to Hayley and Taylor like she forgot they were there. “Oh, hey. Sorry… Bill and I just had a moment, it happens way more often than you would think. So… what’s up, Curly?”

Curly aka Taylor, who’s been staring at Ashley with heart eyes since she sat down next to them, is literally incapable of answering. Ashley blinks at him, and turns to Hayley. “Is… he sick?”

“Who, Taylor? Oh, no… I mean… yes… I mean… he just doesn’t like talking all that much. He’s just super shy.”

\---

TAYLOR: I’ve seen God and her name is Ashley.

\---

“Oh. That sucks. I _love_ talking. Anyways… I don’t think I saw you guys around school last year? And… wait, are you guys the _freshmen_?” Ashley asks them, and Hayley gulps. “Um… yeah. I mean, I’m turning 15 in like… 9 months… so…”

“Oh…” Ashley says, just as slowly, before she turns back to William and mouths to him so Hayley can’t see, “ _Why are we sitting with kindergartners_?!”

\---

HAYLEY: It’s so annoying when people treat us like we’re babies. We’re just FRESHMEN! I mean, I only got my period 2 months ago, but like I’m practically an adult, I’m told I’m mature for my age, so… wait, sorry, don’t add the period part in… TMI…

TAYLOR: I don’t care about age… I want Ashley to have sex with me… Does that make me a bad person, not caring about age? ( _JOSH: Nah, just makes you part of the Eccentric Crew.)_ Oh… that sounds like a bad thing, though? _(JOSH: Yeah, kinda_.)

\---

Hayley turns back to Hayley and asks in a voice that doesn't really come from genuine care- it just sounds like she’s trying to make polite small talk. “So… is high school any different than middle school?”

“Uh… kinda? It _sucks_ being the little kids again, especially since we’re not that little.” Hayley says, trying to give Ashley a hint, but Ashley just shrugs. “Yeah, I feel that. Well, I don’t because I’m gonna be famous and I’m too busy writing music to go to college, shoutout to Josh and Tyler’s label for picking me up, love you guys, Joshler is real, but William’s a freshman at Columbia, my GBF is so smart.”

William grins, and just when he’s about to start gushing about how much he loves Columbia, the lights dim, signaling the start of the fireworks show, and the cameras shut off.

\---

( _TIME SKIP- It’s the next day, and Hayley and Taylor are in the practice room. There’s a little timer on the bottom of the screen- 2 hours till they go on for the parade/competition._ )

“Ashley’s a musician!” Hayley explains to Taylor, as they walk through the practice room. “She’ll totally be impressed if we practice super hard and don’t blow our solos! Just once, and then we can go back to Space Mountain!”

“But we’re gonna practice with Mr. Stump anyways, and the line is gonna be super long, and- OH ~~SHIT~~ , HAYLEY!”

Hayley jumps at Taylor’s scream, and she quickly runs over to where he is- standing in front of the cabinet that they placed their instruments in. “Dude, what happened?!”

“Our flutes… they’re- they’re gone!”

\---

TAYLOR: I might as well hang myself now,  since I know that Mr. Stump is gonna freak the ~~fuck~~ out once he realizes that they’re GONE!

PATRICK: I’m actually feeling pretty confident! Why? ...Oh, hey, have you seen Ryan and Brendon by any chance?

\---

Hayley closes the glass door, and then opens it again, as if she expects them to be appear again. But they don’t- the flutes are _gone_. All of the instruments are in their correct places, and since none of the other teams have the combinations to their locks, they didn’t take them- they just _disappeared_. Hayley and Taylor stare at the empty space for a good couple of seconds, before Hayley says, “We have to do something. We can’t-- Mr. Stump is gonna kill us!”

“What are we gonna do?! We can’t buy them! And we can’t steal from another team, they’ll know it’s us!” Taylor says, pointing to his shirt- it says ‘BARRINGTON HIGH MARCHING BAND’ in bright red. “And… and… we’re gonna die, Hayley! He’s gonna kill us! He’s going to call our parents, and kill us!”

“There has to be another solution…” Hayley says, as she begins to pace the room. “I mean, there has to be! It has to be in here somewhere! It… I mean, I know that Disney World is a magical place, but it’s not _that_ magical!”

The two of them search the room, but they come up clean.

“Well… how about we tell Mr. Wentz? He is our chaperone… and I don’t think he thinks we’ve been peeing this whole time…” Hayley says, as she begins to bite her nails.

“But… he’s getting married to Mr. Stump! Who’s the first person he’s gonna tell?” Taylor asks, and Hayley lets out a sound of frustration. “Taylor! Stop! We’re--- wait. What about Ashley?”

“What about Ashley? I know she’s God but I don’t think she can help us.” Taylor says miserably, but Hayley shakes her head, “No, I mean… Ashley’s street smart, right? She lives in New York City! And she’s not wearing one of these lame shirts, she could… y’know, steal one. If we’re desperate, that is!”

\---

HAYLEY: Oh God, I hope I don’t go to hell for stealing a flute.

\---

“Okay.” Taylor decides, nodding his head yes. “Let’s go find Ashley. And if Mr. Wentz asks us what we’re doing…?”

Hayley shrugs. “We’ll just tell him that I’m on my period. Okay, let’s go, we only have 2 hours left!”

\---

_(Ryan and Brendon and all of their kids are somewhere… unfamiliar. In the background, screams from the Tower of Terror are heard. The Tower of Terror that’s in Hollywood Studios. Not Magic Kingdom, where they should be.)_

“Mr. Urie…” One of the juniors says, with a nervous look on her face. “Are you sure we’re supposed to be here? The competition is today… all the way in Magic Kingdom, and Mr. Stump-”

“Is an idiot? Yeah, I know. He thinks Michael Jackson is the King of Pop- it’s like, gee, _guy_ , haven’t you ever heard of Coldplay? Anyways- we’re the adults, and we know best.” Ryan says, with his arms crossed over his chest. “So just… listen to us.”

“Yeah! We’re the adults.” Brendon says, mimicking Ryan’s motions. He crosses his arms over his chest, and he says, “And plus, we were already in Magic Kingdom yesterday! That’s so lame, going to the same park twice in a row. Anyways... “

He reaches into his back pocket, and he pulls out his wallet. The 8 or so students they’re chaperoning watch on with peaked interest as he takes out some dollar bills. “Ryan and I are gonna try to go on Tower of Terror, and since I can’t watch kids while I’m on the line…” He passes out 3 dollars to each student. “...I’m giving you guys 3 bucks to watch yourselves. Meet us back here at…. Hmmm… 3? And then we’ll see if we can find Patrick since I’m… not really sure what he wants us to do.”

“He wants us in Magic Kingdom. For the competition. That-” The same student tries to say, but Brendon barely listens as he continues to talk over her. “So, everyone, keep your phones on, in case we text in the group chat. Now… scurry along. Ryan and I have to join the line. Toodles!”

All of the students reluctantly walk away from their ‘trusted’ chaperones, and Ryan and Brendon link hands as they begin to walk to the line. “Ugh, God. I’m never chaperoning again.” Brendon says, and Ryan nods. “Agreed. It’s just… so much work. I hate kids.”

Brendon makes a little sound in his throat, like he’s disagreeing. “Well… kids are awesome. But sure.”

They exchange a glance- well, it’s more like Ryan glares, and Brendon glares harder.

\---

RYAN: Brendon never shuts the ~~fuck~~ up about kids. Like, ever.

BRENDON: They’re cute!

RYAN: And I _hate_ kids.

BRENDON: ( _rolls his eyes_ ) Ryan hates kids so much he became a teacher. Actually, I take that back… Ryan hates his job AND he’s the worst at it… No offense...

RYAN: Exactly! I’m a horrible teacher!

BRENDON: But I just-- Ryan! Ryan can be so caring, when he wants to be! Like… Ryan actually entered that sweepstakes for me! I know for a _fact_ that people don’t get automatically signed up to stay at the Castle! He just said that so he could seem all tough in front of the cameras but I _know_ George Ryan Ross, and I know that he’s a kind man! Okay?!

RYAN: Wait, he called me what?!

\---

“We’re not having this discussion right now. But for the record… you’d be an awesome dad. You’re already an awesome _Daddy_.” Brendon says, wiggling his eyebrows a little. Ryan just rolls his eyes and shoves Brendon playfully. “You’re so annoying. Let’s just go on Tower of Terror and get it over with.”

“What, you don’t wanna go?” Brendon asks, and Ryan shrugs. “You want to go. And since it’s Brendon’s world, I guess I’m coming too.”

“Hell yeah it’s my world. And what… why don’t you wanna go? Are you afraaaaaid?” Brendon asks, just as they approach the line- it’s only an hour, and they _clearly_ have the time to waste, so Brendon stays on.

“I’m not… _afraid_. I just don’t like rollercoasters. And heights.”

Brendon blinks. “But you were fine on the plane?”

“Yeah, but I was watching Coldplay Live. On repeat. Nothing calms me down more than Chris’s sweaty body and all of his super high jumps.” Ryan says, before he shakes his head a little, and shakes his hands like he’s trying to get something off of them. “I just gotta shake out the bad feelings, and then I’m good! I’m pumped! Woo! Let’s go!”

Brendon watches on as Ryan continues to shake out the bad vibes with a worried look on his face, and they move up the line.

\---

 _(Hayley and Taylor walk out of the Practice Room, just as Pete runs up to them_ )

“Oh shit! I thought I lost you guys!” Pete pants, as he reaches them. He sits down on the dirty ground, and his breath comes in deep, deep heaves. “Where” _Gasp_. “Were” _Gasp_. “You” _Gasp_. “Guys?”

Hayley bites her lip. “Um… I got my… period?”

Pete jerks back. “Oh! Oh… oh, uh, do you want me to… I mean, I don’t…”

“It’s okay, I already called Ashley and asked her for a pad.” Hayley says, shrugging it off. Taylor, next to her, nods. “Yeah! It was a lot of… blood. I don’t think you’re really qualified to deal with it. No offense.”

Pete gives Taylor an odd look, and he opens his mouth to say something, but he decides against it. “Well.. alrighty then. I hope you feel better? Are you sure you don’t want me to… I don’t know, buy you some chocolate?”

Hayley shakes her head quickly, “Oh, no, that’s fine Mr. Wentz! Really… I think we’ll just wait for Ashley. You know… she’s a girl, it’s just really a girl thing. Or a ‘people with uteruses’ thing.”

“Yeah! We don’t discriminate against dudes with uteruses!” Taylor cheers, and he quickly looks over to Hayley “Did I say that right?” “Yup, you’re good.”

Pete just gives them another weird look, before he sighs- he’s still a little out of breath. “Wow. Well, okay, I don’t have a… it’s whatever. And hey, I think I see Ashley.” He points over to a figure with bright blue hair holding hands with someone with longish brown hair- William. Gabe, who looks a little less than pleased to be with Ashley, again, follows them.

“I got your text!” Ashley yells, shaking her phone in the air, as she approaches them. “I brought Gabe and William along to help me. Mostly because they’re a two-in-one package.”

Gabe rolls his eyes at this, and Ashley whips her head around to glare at him. “I have eyes at the back of my head, Gabriel. And for your information, if you didn’t wanna hang around 18 year olds-”

He finishes her sentence for her- “then I shouldn’t be dating one. I know. Anyways, hey Pete. I think we got it from here.”

Pete looks between the 5 of them. “Wait-- Gabe and William have to help you… find a...? How… you know what, I’m not even going to ask.” He turns to Gabe and says semi-jokingly, “I’m gonna be watching _your_ kids, since you’re all here.” Pete says, and Gabe winces. “Don’t tell Patrick, I don’t want him to step on my balls.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

He looks back to Hayley and he says, “I hope that… you find your pad?”

\---

PETE: I really love being a teacher. I love knowing that I can change my student’s lives, and I love running the poetry club, and I love sharing books and poems and short stories with my students and knowing that they left my classroom at least knowing Edgar Allan Poe. But sometimes… I feel so out of the loop with the kids. I did _not_ know periods were that complicated! And that it took 5 people to figure it out!

\---

Pete gives them one last wave before he walks off, and then the 5 of them turn to each other. “Wait, what was he just talking about?’ William asks, and Hayley shakes her head, ‘It’s nothing, just a way to distract him. So… what are we gonna do?! I don’t wanna die via the wrath of Mr. Stump.”

“I agree.” Gabe says, shaking his head miserably. “I know I’m gonna be blamed for this somehow… and you guys checked everywhere? Are you sure? Because-”

“Of course we looked!” Hayley cries, “We checked the entire room- they’re nowhere to be seen!”

“We gotta steal one from the competition. Plain and simple.” Ashley says, and Bill looks over to her. “There’s no ~~fucking~~ way I’m breaking and entering at _Disney World_.”

“Bilvy, we _have_ to help these little kids out-”

“We’re not little kids! We’re 14!” Hayley crosses her arms over her chest. Ashley blinks at her, “Exactly! You’re, like, 5! Okay… Gabe, what do you got?”

“Nothing. Literally, nothing.” Gabe says, before he pulls out a flask, and takes a shot. “Patrick’s gonna kill us.”

“No! Patrick isn’t! And you know why? Because I’m gonna flirt my way into the other’s teams and steal their flutes. William, hold my bra.”

She reaches behind her back, under her shirt, and unhooks her bra, before she pulls it out through one of the holes in her shirt. Taylor and Hayley both stare at her, wide-eyed, and she grins at them. “My nipples are always hard. Anyways- my plans are _totally_ fool-proof. Remember when I sent Bill all of those rose-grams, and you thought that they were from 13 other people?”

Gabe takes another shot, and he hands the flask over to Bill, who takes one too. Ashley’s bra is still in his other hand.

\---

( _Patrick’s sitting outside of a ride, waiting for his kids to come off. He’s texting on his phone, and he’s holding a totally non-alcoholic drink in his hand. Totally. He has this look on his face- like he knows something fishy is going on. Between Brendon and Ryan and their whole group being nowhere to be seen, between Pete having to watch Gabe, William, and Ashley’s kids because they were doing quote unquote something.)_

PATRICK: I know… I _know_ something is wrong. Too many things are out of place for something not to be wrong… I’m gonna text Brendon. ( _starts typing into his phone_ )

\---

( _Ryan and Brendon are off Tower of Terror- Ryan’s puking in a garbage can in the background, and Brendon’s checking his phone interview the foreground._ )

“Ugh,” Brendon says, to an absent Patrick, as he opens up iMessage. “What do you want now?”

He quickly scans the message, his eyes widening as he finishes up the text.

“ _Guys, I’m really trying not to freak out? :) But where are you? We’re on in an hour and a half? :) Get here now? Meet us by the castle in 15 minutes? :) - Sent from Patrick Stump’s iPhone”_

Brendon quickly types back, speaking the words out loud, “No prob, Steezy. We’ll be there in 15. By the way, your signature is lame.”

He makes a face as he presses send, one that says ‘ _I’m screwed’,_ and he turns back to Ryan, who’s still puking. “Uh, Ry? We have a problem… can you listen to me and stop for two seconds?!”

\---

BRENDON: ( _isn’t looking into the camera, is violently typing into his phone_ ) GUYS, WE GOTTA GET ON THE BUSES RIGHT NOW! PATRICK IS GONNA KILL US!

RYAN: ( _looks very, very sick_ ) I don’t feel good… All I had to eat today was ice cream, and then the ride… and then... _(pukes all over Tyler’s sneakers_ )

\---

( _The cameras switch perspectives at rapid speed- we’re back to Ashley, Bill, Gabe, Hayley, and Taylor_ )

“Okay… William, you’re tall and skinny, and built like a gazelle. I’m gonna bat my eyelashes at the other band director when he comes in, and you’re gonna sneak through the window and steal their flutes. Gabe, you watch the kids-” “Not kids!” “-and make sure that no one sees their shirts. Then, William, you’re gonna throw the instruments out the window, and you guys are gonna catch them.”

“We’re gonna… catch the instruments?” Taylor asks, the first words he’s said to Ashley the entire trip, and Ashley cocks her head to the side a little. “Oh, wow, you do talk! But yes- you’re just gonna have to trust William.”

“But I don’t… I can’t throw for my life!” William says, and Gabe jumps in and says, “Yeah, cause he's the catcher!”

William’s face flushes bright red, and he whips around. He hisses under his breath, “Gabe! Come on! I could top if I really wanted to…”

Gabe just ruffles his hair. “Yeah, sure, keep telling yourself that.”

\---

WILLIAM: _(crosses his arms_ ) Whatever. I really could. If I wanted to.

\---

“I don’t trust William… no offense. I just don’t really want the flutes to come crashing to the ground, and then... y’know. We have to pay for everything.” Hayley explains, and she starts biting her fingernails. “We’re screwed, aren’t we?”

In the background, Joe and Vicky are walking around. They’re both sharing a cotton candy.

“I’m so bored.” Joe exclaims. “Like… at least with weed, you could make the most out of a boring day. But now I’m just plain bored.”

“Yeah, I know!” Vicky agrees, although she’s shaking her head. “It’s a ~~fucking~~ drag.”

“GUYS!” Gabe calls out to them, “COME HERE! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”

They explain the situation to them- _they_ excluding Hayley and Taylor, who are a little overwhelmed at all of the adults they know as teachers talking about picking locks and how ‘dude, when Vicky and I were addicted to weed, two days ago, we would have been way too high to deal with this, but now… we GOT you guys!’

They come up with a plan- Ashley’s gonna continue to flirt with the director of the other team, and Joe and Victoria are gonna pick the lock that opens the other door. William’s gonna _gazelle_ on in there, grab the instruments without making a sound, and he’s gonna hand them over to Hayley and Taylor.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Taylor asks, in a small voice. “I mean… it sounds way too good to be true.”

Vicky shrugs. “We’ll take the blame. Patrick definitely owes us… for something. I’m not sure what it is yet… but I’m sure it exists.”

The 7 ( _7_!) of them stand around in silence for a good couple of seconds, before Joe says, “Hey, why does your jailbait boyfriend have a bra in his hands?”

\---

( _25 minutes later- Patrick’s standing in front of the Castle, being calmed down by Travie. Their kids are all hanging out on Main Street, in the Starbucks, shopping, etc._ )

“Brendon probably just forgot! They’re here- why wouldn't they be here? They’re not _that_ stupid, Trix.” Travie says, resting his hand on Patrick’s shoulder. “Come on… let’s think happy thoughts, huh?”

“Okay… okay,” Patrick says, although he’s shaking a little bit. “Like… hey, Pete and I are getting married!”

“Exactly!” Travie says, encouraging him to keep going. “And… and…”

“Oh my God. That’s all I have going for me, isn’t it?” Patrick laments miserably. “All I am is a sad, little 27 year old who has done nothing with his life, who’s only ~~fucking~~ accomplishment is, what? Getting engaged?! Coming all the way to Disney World just for-”

“Patrick, stop!” Travie says, shaking his shoulders a little. “You have no confidence! Geez! You are good. The band? _Good_. You ~~fuckin~~ ’... ~~fuckin~~ ’ inspired Ashley Frangipane to create music and now she’s coming out with an album, and you just, you’re fine. And who cares that you consider getting engaged to be a huge accomplishment? You’re getting married to your best friend! That’s, like, awesome. Right?”

Patrick pouts a little. “Right…”

“So just… chill, man. And when Brendon and Ryan inevitably show up here, don’t chew them out either. That’s probably half the reason they’re taking forever- they just don’t wanna die.”

“I’m not that bad… am I?”

( _FOOTAGE: Patrick punching Gabe in the face so hard that Gabe legitimately passed out, Patrick screaming at students about getting to musical rehearsals on time, Patrick glaring at Pete after Pete accidentally ate all of the M &Ms out of his trail mix which doesn’t sound that scary except… it was_)

“Okay… I guess I can be a little much…” Patrick admits, as his shoulders slump. “No one sees me from down here, I have to make myself known.”

“You’re not, er… that short.”

Travie looks down as Patrick looks up. “Right. And you’re not the size of Bigfoot.”

Speaking of short people, though- Brendon, Ryan, and their entire crew of students walk towards Patrick. Brendon says, much too loudly, “WASN’T TOMORROWLAND FUN, GUYS? THE LINE FOR SPACE MOUNTAIN WAS _SOOOOO_ LONG, BUT WE WERE THERE. AND WE WENT TO TOMORROWLAND. AND WE WERE HERE NOW. AND THAT’S WHAT MATTERS. THAT WE WERE HERE. IN MAGIC KINGDOM. THE ENTIRE DAY.”

Ryan, who’s a little green in the face, nods along. Josh films a little bit of Tyler’s puke stained sneakers, and there's some snickering in the background.

“Gee, Patrick, we just got caught up and-” Brendon begins to say, before Patrick shushes him. “Let's just… go to the practice room before we’re all late? Please?”

Everyone but Ryan follows- he just lies down in the middle of Main Street and says in a weak, weak voice, “Chris Martin help me...please...”

\---

( _Josh sprints back to Ashley and the crew, and gets there before Patrick does- Hayley and Taylor both have flutes in their possession, and Ashley’s French-braiding Hayley’s hair)_

“I can't believe we did it! Actually, I can believe we did it but like… we _did_ it!” Ashley exclaims with a huge grin on her face, just as she finishes doing Hayley's hair. “Go us- vandalism and stealing is fun!”

“I feel so bad though… I mean, what if the other teams were really good, and what if they’re freaking out?” Hayley asks, looking over to the adults, but they look just as pleased that they… y’know, _stole_ their competition’s equipment.

“If you think of it like that…” William begins to say, before Brendon bursts into the room, holding two flutes. He doesn't even glance at everyone else in the room, even though it's gone dead silent, he just sprints into the room, and to where the cabinets are.

He pushes the two flutes back in their place, humming to “Let It Go” as he does, and then he locks back the cabinet.

“Brendon, dude, what the ~~fuck~~ was that?” Vicky asks, when Brendon turns around. He jumps a little at the sight of the 7 of them, like he's only just now taking it in, and he stammers out, “Uh… don't tell Patrick. But… Ryan and I got bored last night…”

( _FOOTAGE: Brendon and Ryan smoking weed out of the flutes in their hotel room. Like… they were smoking out of Hayley and Taylor’s instruments)_

“What the ~~fuck~~?!” Joe’s eyes widen, “You found a weedman _here_?!”

“Uh… _ya_.” Brendon says, like it's the most obvious thing ever. “Right outside of Small World, dude. That's like the trippiest ride ever.”

“But we were with you!” Vicky tries to argue, but Brendon shakes his head, “Nah, nah, nah, we got the weed _before_ the fireworks show and smoked it up while it was going on, and we just watched it from the window. I thought I was gonna die but it was _great.”_

He looks over to Taylor and Hayley, who both are sitting with flutes in their laps. “Hey, where’d you get those?”

Taylor stares at him, wide-eyed. “Uhhhhhhh…”

In the distance, Patrick’s voice can be faintly heard, so Ashley quickly gets up from her seat where she was braiding Hayley’s hair, and she grabs the instruments. “The weed flutes and the stolen flutes _never_ happened. I’ll be right back!”

She scurries out of the room, just as Patrick walks in, with a whole clan of students. “Alright guys, we’re running a little late, let's run through the set one more time, and then let's get dressed to rock and roll!”

\---

( _There are little bits of the competition/parade shown- they march down Main Street, U.S.A as a whole crowd of people watch on- they do a bunch of Disney classics, Hercules and The Lion King and they even add in some new ones, like Immortals from Big Hero 6…………  Anyways, all of the teachers watch on from the sidelines, and Ashley grins proudly as Hayley and Taylor perform their solos (duets?). At the end, the winners are called, and the marching band places in 6th place._ )

“Oh my God.” Patrick says, stunned, and he turns to look at Pete, who has his arm wrapped around him. “Oh my God. Pete! We made Top 10! WE ~~FUCKING~~ \- WE ~~FUCKING~~ MADE TOP 10!” He screams, shaking Pete’s shoulders with so much excitement and joy that Pete’s almost positive his shoulders are going to be ripped off.

“ ~~FUCK~~ YEAH!” Pete yells with him, even though they’re kinda surrounded by little kids, even though all of the students are watching and waiting to talk to Patrick about their performance. “YOU DID IT!”

“I DID IT!” Patrick agrees, laughing as he pulls Pete down by the collar to kiss him passionately. When he pulls away, tears begin to fall, streaking his cheek, and he laughs, all bubbly, when Pete wipes them away. “I’m just so- Pete! We did it, I… and the students, and I thought that we would be horrible, but-- 6th ~~fucking~~ place! Last year we wouldn’t have even placed, and-” He kisses him again, and in the background, Brendon watches them, and pretends to puke. Ryan looks over to him, and says, “Don’t do that… it’s gonna make me wanna vomit again,”, and then Brendon pretends to puke again, laughing as Ryan elbows him in the stomach.

But Pete and Patrick don’t even hear them- when they pull apart, again, Patrick wipes at his face, and he says, “I’m just so _happy_! You know?!”

“Well,” Pete says, smiling as he wraps his arms around Patrick’s waist, “this  _is_ the happiest place on Earth, isn’t it?”

“Technically that’s Disneyland… but I’ll take it.” Patrick says, leaning his head against Pete’s chest. He hums in content, in the midst of the chaos, the crowds of people and the students. Travie, who’s been in an ear-shot of them, says jokingly, “Dude, don’t get _too_ happy, we still got 3 parks to go to, and probably about a thousand more obstacles.”

And then Patrick shrugs, just as a student comes up to him with a huge gash on their leg, “Uhhhh… Mr. Stump, sorry to interrupt your moment but uh... I think I need to go to First Aid…”

Patrick looks over to Travie, and says in a voice that’s one half disbelief and the other part amusement, “I don’t care, if we could manage to get 6th place in Disney, we can do _anything_.”

\---

( _PHOTO MONTAGE (from all of the pictures that Jon took/from his camera), “DO YOU WANT TO BUILD A SNOWMAN” PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND: Ashley posing with Princess Jasmine and she’s smiling super wide; Ashley and the same Princess Jasmine making out behind a wall; Pete and Patrick with Mickey Mouse, and Mickey Mouse looks shocked at all of Pete’s tattoos; Brendon staring into the camera as he licked an ice cream cone seductively; Ashley and Hayley giving the cameras peace signs in front of Epcot-Japan; some guy checking out Bill’s ass while he, oblivious, tried on Mickey ears; Gabe about to punch the guy in the last picture as Bill continues to try on the ears; Tyler and Josh filming the 7 of them in the midst of their scheming; Patrick, Ashley, and Bill posing with Belle and the Beast; Ryan puking in the garbage can outside of Tower of Terror; Joe and Vicky on the line for the Star Wars ride in Hollywood Studios, grinning up at the cameras; Gabe and William sitting together in front of a bunch of flowers in Epcot, laughing; Pete sticking his tongue out while posing with Peter Pan; the students late at night when they weren’t allowed to be out, buying food at the vending machines; Josh taking a picture on his own phone of Tyler in front of the castle; Hayley and Taylor feeding each other croissants in Epcot-France; Ryan being dragged around by the wrist by Brendon; Travie, Gabe, Vicky, and Joe drinking out of brown paper bags outside of their hotel rooms; Taylor and Ashley pointing at animals at Animal Kingdom; Tyler and Josh taking a break from filming to eat french fries together underneath the huge Epcot ball; Pete going to town on a turkey leg as Patrick watches on with a grimace; Vicky and Travie watching fireworks in awe, and FINALLY- a group picture of everyone after the parade- everyone, even Jon and Tyler and Josh are grinning up at the camera.)_

**Author's Note:**

> me, writing the part where they perform immortals: :) this is the height of comedy... haha get it cause... cause fall out boy... cause-
> 
> ANYWAYS- it almost marks a year since i went to disney (actually almost exactly a year cause we left on the 15th... I MISS DISNEY SOOO MUCH) AND i got a request to write a fic about them going to a competition at disney, so this worked out perfectly except the part where i feel like this was very messy and confusing? but idk... maybe that's just me being my own worst critic. anyways- leave a comment if u liked it! or just leave ur opinion on the 'its a small world' ride cause my opinion is It Is Bad. those dolls... Worst. 10/10 would not recommend. i walked around epcot while listening to walk the moon with my sister and taking pics of flowers and i think that was my favorite part of the entire trip lol. or tower of terror.
> 
> one more thing: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEE leave a request if you wanna read another eccentric thingy! i dont really have any active ideas but if u leave a request i'll probably write it! im not doing the peterick wedding right now but i feel like thats something im gonna do down the line... if i havent stopped milking this series by then haha.


End file.
